How We Talk About Suicide Really Matters

Though suicide is a topic that is more normalized than in the past, there is still a harmful stigma. This stigma is very real and detrimental as it is the #1 reason that people do not seek treatment for mental illness. Suicide is a serious public health issue and rates are on the rise. We must learn how to talk about suicide, in the right way, to ensure that our conversations are helpful and productive and do not negatively affect those who are vulnerable.

What we say, don’t say, and how we say it make a difference. Decades of research show that our communication really matters to those struggling with thoughts of ending their own lives and to those grieving the loss of a suicide. Silence on the topic of suicide is equally as dangerous.

Please take the time to learn how to talk about suicide and teach others what you learn. 

OVERALL MESSAGING

Decades of research have helped create guidelines for communications about suicide. It is especially important that these are followed by the media, but we can all learn from them.

• While it is important to discuss the issue, we should not normalize it.

• Discuss help-seeking for depression or hopelessness as a positive action

• Emphasize the suicide can be prevented and depression can be treated successfully

• Know how to recommend help (link to warning signals and help line post)

• Avoid discussing details of tragedies

“Never use the phrase commit suicide.”

CHOICE OF WORDS

Words have power. It is important that we stop using the word “committed” when talking about suicide. Think about phrases like “commit murder” or “commit adultery.”  The word commit harkens back to beliefs that suicide is a crime or sin. Depression is a treatable illness, not a choice. Experts recommend saying “died by/from suicide.” Additional language recommendations include:

Say this                                        Instead of this

Died by suicide                                             Committed suicide

Suicide death                                                Successful attempt

Suicide attempt                                            Unsuccessful attempt

Person living with suicidal thoughts           Suicide ideator or attempter

(Describe behavior)                                     Cry for help, manipulator

Working with                                                 Dealing with suicidal crisis

BREAK THE TABOO

Suicide is the second leading cause of death in the U.S. for youth ages 10-24. We need to speak openly about it. For years, cancer was referred to as the “C word” as people were afraid to discuss it. Now that people speak about cancer openly, there is funding, research, and support groups. By talking openly about the problem of suicide, we can forward solutions to addressing the public health crisis. In a world where suicide is no longer stigmatized, we can imagine funding and support available for everyone. Speaking about suicide, in the right way, will empower others to be open and will help break the stigma.

“We understand that most people who are depressed or having suicidal thoughts do not want to die, they want their pain to end.”

DEMONSTRATE COMPASSION

We understand that most people who are depressed or having suicidal thoughts do not want to die, they want their pain to end. We must treat those who are struggling, those who have died by suicide, and the families and friends grieving a loss with great compassion. They must not be condemned. Part of doing this is using the right terminology about depression and suicide, and having the courage to speak openly and supportively about mental health.

In conclusion, we must talk about suicide to address the crisis but how we talk about suicide really matters. Take the time to learn the right choice of words. Focus on compassion and hope. If we all do these things, we can help make change and save lives. 

 Sources:

https://www.irmi.com/articles/expert-commentary/language-matters-committed-suicide

https://iunderstandloveheals.org

HOW TO SEEK HELP

These numbers are NOT just for crisis emergencies. You can use them any time you don’t know what to do about warning signs of depression or suicide.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255 or if your friend is in immediate danger of harming her/himself, call 911. 

Crisis Text Line Text “HOME” to 741741. Help is available for free at any time.  

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About Gabriel's Light

In 2019, Carol and Brendan Deely founded Gabriel’s Light in honor of their son who died by suicide at age 12. In honor of Gabe and all those lost to suicide, they share their journey with the hope that others may learn and grow from their tragedy. Focusing on three pillars of cyber safety, suicide prevention, and kindness campaigns, through outreach, programs, partnerships, and funding, they raise awareness and inspire youth, parents, and educators to take action and help forward their mission.